A Hilariously Raunchy Christmas Cracker: F Christmas at the Malthouse Theatre
Stepping into the Malthouse Theatre for Fuck Christmas is like walking into a festive fever dream where traditions are upended, and anything goes. This bold and boundary-pushing production is not for the faint-hearted, delivering a riot of adult themes, nudity, coarse language, and unapologetic sexual references. It’s the kind of theatre that grabs you by the tinsel and demands you let go of all inhibitions for a couple of hours of unabashed fun.
I attended Opening Night when the inimitable Milo Hartill stepped into the role of Geraldine due to an unfortunate illness spreading through the cast. While it’s a shame to have missed Sarah Ward’s performance, Milo proved an extraordinary stand-in, delivering a masterclass in comedic timing, vocal prowess, and magnetic stage presence. Watching them take on the role with apparent ease, it was hard to imagine anyone else embodying Geraldine with such effervescent charm and irreverent energy. Milo’s Geraldine is a character to remember—equal parts hilarity and heartbreak, wrapped in glitter and expletives.
From the moment the audience entered, it was clear this wasn’t going to be your typical holiday fare. The pre-show entertainment set the tone perfectly, with a roving cast of misfits and provocateurs engaging with the crowd, blurring the lines between performer and audience. It was immersive, electrifying, and filled with just enough chaos to keep you on edge. The festive decorations—equal parts kitsch and subversive—only added to the anarchic atmosphere.
Once the show began, the stage was a kaleidoscope of action, colour, and sound. The creative team spared no expense in crafting a spectacle that balanced outrageous humour with poignant commentary. Under the direction of Susie Dee and Bec Matthews, Fuck Christmas managed to poke fun at consumerism, family dysfunction, and societal norms while still finding moments of surprising tenderness.
The script, razor-sharp and dripping with wit, was brought to life by an ensemble that oozed chemistry. Whether it was raucous group numbers or intimate scenes that crackled with emotional intensity, the cast kept the energy high and the laughs rolling. Standout performances included Nicci Wilks for keeping the crowd on their toes from the pre entertainment right to her very last bow. Seth Sladen as the saucy, sassy elf turned sexy aerial extraordinaire everyone in the audience could their eyes off.
The production design was equally stellar inducing and fully functional mini train track that ran along the fun of the stage. The costumes were a visual feast, ranging from holiday classics to provocatively absurd ensembles that would make even the most daring fashionista blush.
Thematically, Fuck Christmas is a celebration of letting go, laughing at life’s absurdities, and finding joy in the imperfect. While it gleefully tears apart holiday clichés, it also sneaks in a message of acceptance and love—albeit wrapped in sharp satire and unapologetic irreverence. The content warning is there for good reason, but those willing to embrace the show’s audacious spirit will be rewarded with a night of unforgettable theatre.
By the time the finale rolled around—a dazzling, no-holds-barred spectacle that had the audience on their feet—it was clear this was a production that had it all. From the pre-show antics to the gut-busting humour and unexpected moments of vulnerability, Fuck Christmas is a must-see for anyone craving a holiday show that dares to be different.
Bravo to the cast, crew, and Milo Hartill for delivering a performance that will be talked about long after the tinsel has been packed away. If you’re looking for a theatrical experience that pushes boundaries, challenges expectations, and leaves you laughing until your sides hurt, Fuck Christmas is the gift that keeps on giving.
